Prostate stimulation can create exquisite, orgasmic and deeply emotional surrendered experiences. Many men describe a softer, more connected orgasmic experience compared to the more common explosive, penis orgasm. Read on to find out more...
For many men, it can feel challenging to receive stimulation in and around their anus, as this can often be incorrectly viewed as "feminine" or homosexual (as if these two things were bad or in any way emasculating). We invite you to consider the thoughts or beliefs you have about receiving anal stimulation and where those are coming from. Anal stimulation is a great and natural part of sexuality. A powerful man is a man who loaves all parts of his sexuality and his body.
TIP:
For inspiration and guidance on how to receive this from a partner, check out Layla's YouTube video on prostate massage.
For further reading about this practice Layla highly recommends this book:
The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners by Charlie Glickman.
Physiology
The prostate is located inside the anal canal, about 2-3 inches (or 5-7 centimeters) on the front wall towards the abdomen.
The prostate organ is spherical in shape and presses into the anal canal. It feels like a small plum that protrudes into the anal canal from the front wall.
NOTE:
- The prostate is made of erectile tissue that swells when you are aroused and turned on. If the tissue isn't swollen and turned on it may feel uncomfortable.
- The anus is made of sphincter muscles that can contract very strongly. Going slowly and relaxing throughout the process are keys for a positive and pleasurable experience.
- When a man has a prostate orgasm, he tends to ejaculate differently - the semen almost bubbles out rather than shooting out.
Step-by-step instructions
Step 1
If you are giving the massage or receiving the massage from a partner, take time to talk about any feelings or fears about anal stimulation with your partner before exploring prostate massage.
Step 2
For the one giving the prostate massage, clip fingernails very short and smooth, the anus is very sensitive. If you have long painted nails, try packing a bit of cotton ball into a latex or similar glove, inserting your finger into the glove, and arranging the cotton to protect the nail and the receiving partner. Make sure to wash your hands and clean under your nails after the massage.
Step 3 (For the receiving partner)
Clean the area around the anus, as well as, a shallow part inside the anus with a skin-friendly soap and water. Wash your hands thoroughly afterward. You can do an enema if you are going to explore deeper anal penetration but usually this area is empty unless you need to go to the bathroom.
TIP:
For more inspiration on setting up a sacred pleasure experience, check out Layla's YouTube video, 10 Steps to Give a Sacred Blowjob and download the pdf guide.
Step 4
Find a comfortable position to begin stimulating yourself. You can be sitting or lying down. If you are receiving the massage from a partner, the easiest starting position is for you to lie on your back with your partner sitting between your legs.
Step 5
Spend time getting turned on by touching yourself in the way you most desire and enjoy.
If you are receiving from a partner, the person giving the massage will be doing this and all of the following steps. Encourage the receiving partner to breathe, sound and express anything that comes up throughout the process.
Step 6
While erotically stimulating the body and genitals, apply lube to the area outside the anus in a sensual way. Be liberal with the lube - you can't use too much!
Step 7
While still stimulating the body and genitals with one hand, slowly and gently begin to insert a finger into the anus. For extra erotic safety, ask permission before inserting your finger. Encourage your partner to breathe and sound throughout the process.
Go slowly, make a small, gentle circle with the finger until the first joint of the finger is inserted. Pause here for a while, this allows the anus to stay relaxed and not contract by impulse.
The prostate is on the anal wall facing the belly, about 2-3 inches (or 5-7 centimeters) deep.
Once you have located it, you are ready to start the massage.
Step 8
Gauge your partner's turn-on level and adapt the massage accordingly.
- If the partner receiving is close to climax, stop stimulating the penis. Climaxing before the massage will decrease the pleasure sensation in the prostate massage.
- If the receiving partner is not very turned on, keep stroking the penis to create more arousal and pleasure as you massage the prostate.
- Ideally you'll want to stimulate the penis and prostate all the way to climax to maximize orgasmic pleasure.
Step 9
Massage the prostate and experiment with different types of strokes, pressure, depth, and movement to find what feels most pleasurable to the receiver.
Four basic strokes to try:
- "Come Here" movement with the index finger - press and stroke with finger back and forth over the prostate.
- Sliding the finger gently and slowly up and down over the prostate.
- Circular strokes around and over the prostate.
- Diagonal X-shape strokes in both directions.
TIP:
For more ideas for strokes, check out Layla's YouTube video:
11 Electrifying Ways to Stroke Your Clitoris
Step 10
For the partner giving the massage, ask the receiving partner if he enjoys it and what is working for him.
TIP:
When you find the stroke that works best, slow everything down so you can build up more pleasure and turn-on. You want to stimulate both penis and prostate all the way to orgasm until the receiver is more familiar with prostate pleasure and can climax through prostate stimulation alone.
Step 11
Share celebrations and gratitude. Talk about the experience and what went well and what to try next time. Make sure to wash your hands thoroughly and clean under your fingernails.